From The Sidelines

The story of a high school senior who opened my eyes to some social realities.

Football players don't like when coaches talk smack about them. Especially when the smack is a Kleenex moment. At the high school level, a player's reputation is everything. On the street, it's his force field.

Berkeley High's head football coach, Fred Sims, understands head games. The former UC Berkeley wide receiver and St. Louis Rams draft pick holds a Ph.D. in gridiron psychology. He also knows a diamond in the ruff when he sees it.

"You talk about people that can channel some stuff—that's the kid," Sims said as he watched his 5'11", 200lbs., senior running back take the ball and run down field during a cold 6 p.m. practice. "The first game I coached last year, he gets off the bus and he's ballin' crying. He said, 'Coach I'm so fucking ready.' He’s just crying."

The powerful 17-year-old running back with a rudimentary No. 4 taped to the right side of his helmet ran by his coach smiling. It was as if he knew his coach was about to pull out another box of tissue. This time there would be no crocodile tears.

After a few whistles and instructional moments with his backup quarterback, Sims walked towards the sideline and explained how no other coach would give his star running back a chance—something about a player's reputation and how it precedes them.

"He was going into his junior year and he was two hours out of jail," Sims said. "It was 11:30 a.m."
Sims said that the first time he met No. 4, the young man walked up to him and said, "Coach, how you doing? My name is Rudolpho James."

After a few seconds James continued, "I'm just being straight up honest with you—nobody else straight up gave me a chance. I need this to get my life right. This is what I want to do. Man, I got out of jail at 9:30 a.m."

Two years later James entertains offers from Washington, Oregon State, Eastern Washington, Fresno State, Nevada and UNLV. He takes the ACT on December 11th. His first official visit is to Fresno State on January 20th—his 18th birthday.

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What is No. 4 football?
James: It's smash mouth. It's pop. It's flanker all downhill running. It's all positive yards. It's none of that pretty stuff. It's kind of like a Ray Lewis' defense.

What do you dream about?
James: Every night I try to envision what I'm going to do on the field. Once I drill it in my head what I can do, and what I'm capable of doing, I just end up doing it.

What do you see for your future?
James: People are so happy for me—like talking NFL and all that other stuff. Me? I'm so happy just to know I can go to college for free and my mom ain't going to have to stress to work extra hard to pay for it. Just for me getting to college I'll be happy. I don't need the NFL, ya feel me? I'm going to work hard to get there, but if not, I'm going to have an education and a free college degree.

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Sims understands why people think James is still not all there. Much of what the young running back goes through is guilt by association. Some of it’s his doing.

"I told him I accept everybody at faith value," Sims said. "What you've done in the past I've got nothing to do with. Hopefully you learn from it and don't let that shit be in vain."

The past is the past, but James must live in the present. His hometown is Richmond, Calif. A.K.A. homicide central. The city, which borders Berkeley, is not for the faint of heart. James should know—it took his father when he was four months old.

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How did your dad die?
James: Senseless shooting in Richmond. I think about it and use it as an advantage—like to motivate me. I just got to stay strong and compete. It's hard but there are people that got it worse than me.

How does the city of Richmond push you to become a better football player?
James: It pushes me to do better because where I’m from there are a lot of people that wish they could be on the field. There are people I know in jail and dead. I play for them. I act like if I was in jail I couldn't do this. I feel like I can go hard for them because I'm playing for everybody. The last person I'm playing for is myself.

Did your mom help you stay focused?
James: I didn't have the male role model around my house. Mommy can tell me, but a young black male in this society, from where I'm from, most of us don't listen to our mom. Me? I listen to my mom but I don't like her telling me stuff because I’m already doing the right stuff. I don't want her to tell me—Don't go over here or go over there. I just don't break some of her boundaries. She doesn’t have to say nothing to me.

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James considers his mom a strong black woman for raising three children without a father. Not once has she turned her back on him. His eyes twinkle thinking about her.

"I just love it when she comes to my games and supports me," James said. "Like some moms, they're not very supportive. They start supporting at the end when they know there son is great. Even if your son isn't great you should still be there—it's your son."

James hopes no one grows up without a father and acknowledges male role models are important in a young person's life.

"You can say I had role models, but I can't say they were positive," James said. "They did support my sports by helping me buy cleats and whatever else I needed to stay on the field."

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It's 7:30 p.m. Practice is over and James jogs to the opposite side of the field away from his teammates. His movements are chaotic and unpredictable. One moment he's jogging straight, then left, then right, then straight again. Eventually he stops near the end zone where his pile of clothes and red duffle bag lay. He carries his dad's ring and jewelry. That's why he keeps his stuff away from the others. "It's not that I don't trust them," James said. "I just play it safe."

Out of uniform James sports the fashion of the day: glow in the dark sneakers, baggy jeans, jewelry and a ball cap that has never seen the dust of a baseball diamond. His long braided hair frames a smile geared more for prime time.

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What’s Richmond like?
James: When you're coming off the exit you're already nervous. Anything can happen in these places. It's rough out there. People are so angry at each other. We're brothers killing each other and we all like it. They think it's funny. There's people that laugh, make songs and jokes about killing people from Richmond—and it's their own Richmond people. What's so sad is how we all played Pop Warner football and Little League baseball together. It's all the same people shooting and killing each other. I have a picture at home. When I'm looking at it, there are a couple players that went that way—cool. Some of the team went the other way. Some of the team you just don't know where they're at any more—but it's like the ones you know, they're fuckin' with each other. There are two or three people dead from just this one picture.

What do your friends think about you being at Berkeley?
James: One of my Richmond friends I played football with here at Berkeley High—we started in the 9th grade. I brought him here along with me. He was still kind of holding back from his past. He was caught up in the streets. He ended up just now going to jail for some serious charges. He would have been here with me and we would've been graduating—but like he's gone. He played fullback and linebacker. He made different life choices so he got to live with them.

How come you didn't get caught up in the streets?
James: They knew I was playing football. It all started junior year—I wasn't around a lot. I locked myself here at Berkeley High on this field during the summer and I got it in—I got my name out there.

Do you still talk to your friend?
James: Yeah. He still calls me. I got a lot of people in a lot of bad places. People think that just because I came from there—and I'm not there—but I have people there—I don't want to change it up and say, “Oh, I don't know them no more.” Or try and act like I don't know them. Why would I turn my back on my people? There are too many people that make it and go big time that turn their back on the people they grew up with—or came up from dirt with and played with until the street lights came on. People always go pick up people with money like them. Who had your back when it all started?

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Football wasn't James' first love. It was baseball. He considered himself to be a little slugger—a catcher and infielder. That all changed in 2004 when his baseball coach, Landrin Kelly, lost his son, Terrance, to street violence. Terrance was gunned down in Richmond the day he was to leave for the University of Oregon and a promising football career.

"When Terrance was killed his dad lost all spirit for the game," James said. "Once it took him out of the game, it took me out of the game. I never had a great baseball coach like him again, so I ended up playing football for the Richmond Steelers."

James was in the 8th grade when he first put on shoulder pads. Immediately he started to feel something new. The violence James was accustomed to seeing and hearing would be replaced with the cheer of scoring touchdowns.

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You said you were going to tell me about your other buddy?
James: It was the game before Oakland High. On Thursday my mom picked me up from practice and she's like, “David got killed.” I was like, “Huh?” I'm thinking he got shot but he wasn't dead. So I called down there to see what's going on. She probably just heard about it—she wasn't there. I called Levi and said, “Man, he gone?” It was like, “Say no more already.” I already knew he was gone. It was like fuck—I didn't even know I had a game the next day. So I was like fuck. On the way to the bus I couldn't stop thinking about him. It was like nothing could get him out of my mind. So it was very hard for me. It was very emotional. David died in the back of my neighborhood.

Did the police ever catch the person that killed your friend?
James: There's one thing about my city—probably 10% get convicted of murder. I done seen dirty cops tell me they knew who killed David. They are not arresting them. They don't care. If you’re a criminal or if you're known, they feel like you should get killed anyway. So like there's not justice for you. So why are our parents paying taxes and y'all don't care about our children in the streets even though they make mistakes or whatever? It don't give a right for some other man to come and take someone else's life and you not care. It's like once you're gone in Richmond you're gone. Ain't no one building up your case unless you got someone right there on the crime scene that saw everything that's going to tell.

So the people in Richmond don't trust the police?
James: It's like the police are against us. It's like they're a gang. A lot of people don't really know it, but I know it. I spent late nights in rough areas where I’m from—the town house projects—police drawing down on us, police pistol whipping. I've seen all that in front of my eyes. They pulled me over for no apparent reason. It's like they don't have to have a reason. You know how it's probable cause and stuff? None of that works with them. They always break the law. People always get out of jail because they perform illegal searches. Or there’s something that they never do right. The police are making people mad for harassment.

Does this stuff happen late at night or any time of the day?
James: Oh, my God—this stuff happens any time of the day. Parents can be outside. No matter what, you can have people watching' it. They still don't care. Just because the area is known for crime they think they can do that. They can treat you hella shitty, and have no respect for you.

When you see the police do you walk away?
James: I'm scared of Richmond police. That's crazy for me to even say that, but I'm literally terrified. I'm scared of the police. Ain't no telling what they can do to me if they get me alone or whatever. I'm really scared of them.

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To give himself a little breathing room, James began to look for a high school with a great football coach—one that had a knack for sending players to college. He found Berkeley High's Alonzo Carter.

Carter had a track record of getting the most out of his players. After compiling a three-year record of 25-8-1, he accepted the head coaching position at Contra Costa College in San Pablo. James never got the chance to showcase his skills for Carter. After playing junior varsity ball and a run-in with the law, Sims was hired as the new head coach.

"I had something to prove," James said. "Nobody had a spot on Sims' team. It was a fresh start. The coaches didn't know us from a can of paint."

Paint or no paint, James has proven to be a one-coat type of running back. He describes his running style like a Ray Lewis' defense. "It's smash mouth. It's pop. It's flanker all downhill running and all positive yards," said James. "None of that pretty stuff."

Without football James acknowledged he would be heading in the wrong direction. He also understands high school football won't last forever.

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You must feel lucky you got to play at Berkeley High?
James: I just feel like I kind of control my own future and destiny. I'm doing whatever right now for me to succeed in life. I don't want flaws. I went a long way to get here. I'm a senior now and still want to keep going. There's no time to turn back. I play out here with a purpose.

Do you feel like you're vulnerable?
James: I feel like every night before a game, there's nothing wrong with letting some tears go down. I always let a few tears go down. I just sit and think a lot and reminisce on the people that were here with me—all the negativity really pushes me. It's sad to see that it's like that. If I don't stay on the positive path I can be the next one to end up like that.

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To make sure James never forgets his past, he tapes photos of his dead friends onto his football tail pad and carries their spirits into the huddle every Friday night. When he scores a touchdown, they score a touchdown.

Bandages are another part of his Friday night uniform. They mummify his forearms with graffiti-like scripture. When he is on the bottom of a pile for a three-yard loss, James reads them for reassurance. Along with negative yardage, he knows he’s made a few mistakes in his life.

“I’m here to live another day,” James said. “I just want to do the right thing. If we were to fault people for mistakes, there would be a lot of people going no where.”

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What were the mistakes you made in your life?
James: I wouldn't say it was mistakes but other people would call them mistakes. Hanging with choice of friends and stuff. I grew up with these people—I'm not about to change up. That's one thing about me—I rather roll up with somebody I've been hanging out with for 10 years, than meet a new person that I can be walking with and he can shoot me in the back of my head.

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James averaged 114 yards and over two touchdowns per game his senior season.